The Hopeless Writer

And then you said you miss me... I wish the word could do a magic like it used to be. I remember pain. I remember heart broken. I remember a thousand "I love you" to make you stay. I remember a thousand tears when you walked away. And then you said you miss me... There's nothing here as it used to be. I'm not the same girl who loved you. I'm not the same fool you left behind. No more tears left to cry. Just only...goodbye.

Unexpected, I let you come into my heart. And I started to like you more each day. You’re so young so lively and so smart. Every time spending with you, it was like floating away. In any circumstances you would be just perfect. But life always isn’t that easy and simple. You can’t get all you want no matter how hard you wish. My heart was aching badly trying to convince myself. “You would be fine but you have to let him go.” Convincing myself hard enough to forget the tears that flow. Just to see him one last time... Just to give him one last kiss... “Happy to see you after a while.” He said. “Happy to see you for the last time.” If I could ever say. “In the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go. But what always hurt the most, is not taking a moment to say goodbye.” -Life of Pi-

Open my eyes so that I can see Open my heart so that I can feel I was lost for so long Wandered around in an empty land The hunger that hasn't been fed The thirst that hasn't been fulfilled what's the feeling of being loved? what's the feeling of that tender touch? The feeling of connection that longing feeling... Open my eyes so that I can see, your beautiful soul Open my heart so that I can feel, you warmed love I don't want to be lost any longer I don't want to feel any hunger I was lost for so long... I don't want to feel lost any more...  

If I told you that I loved you Would you ever hurt me? If I told you that I needed you Would you ever leave me? I was hurt and it's so cruel To be left alone without a clue. I was hurt and it's so undue. To be left shattered by you. You said you loved me but you're unsure. You said you wanted me and you wanted her. You asked me to wait but where was my place? You asked me to wait but I was neglected. I told you that I loved you. Why you hurt me? I told you that I needed you. Why you left me?....

How many times do I have to say goodbye... How many times do I have to ask myself "why"... You will never be so certain. And I will always be broken. Time and time again.... You will keep breaking me to pieces. The memories of you... The feeling for you... It keeps haunting me. Time and time again... I will be just another broken pieces. It's time to say a real goodbye... Don't ask me why... Please love her the way she deserves. I am just only someone who passed by... Even though how much I love you... Even though how much it hurts... It's time to say "Goodbye".

For how long that I have dreamed and hope... that you would come back to me.... For how long that I have been blinded... Today I can clearly see. Today I have a cruel wake up call. You are not and will never again be mine. My heart is weeping... Words cannot explain... Tears are running... I cannot complain... Such a fool I could be. Such a fool I couldn't see. How many pieces I was broken... Shattering I am at the moment. Goodbye, my sweet dream... It's time for me to wake up and realize. Goodbye, as it seems.... Forever, you will never be mine.

Underneath a blue brighten sky, There comes a soft winter breeze. Trying to ease  my heavy heart... Drowning in my thought... Feel hardly to breath... Underneath a blue winter sky, There's sweet melody playing in my ears... Trying to ease my heavy heart... Drowning in my thought... Find a comfort of some tears. Underneath a blue clear sky,  There's cloudy and bleary mind... Trying to ease my heavy heart... Drowning in my thought... Someday, one day I will be fine...